Week After Holiday

The week after a holiday is always difficult. My long weekends are never restful, and I inevitably sleep less than usual weekends. As a result, I haven’t been sleeping very well the last few days. I started feeling a scratch in my throat yesterday, and it’s a bit more sore today. I’m sure it will be worse before it gets better.

My last midterm of the term is tomorrow afternoon, but I can’t seem to concentrate while I study for it. I keep making small arithmetic mistakes. I usually don’t like to study the day of an exam (I like to have a clear mind), but I might have to make an exception so I can rest tonight. I won’t be getting much studying done tonight anyway.

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Feverishly Studying

What a long week. I woke up feeling sick about a week ago (last Saturday), and it escalated into a mid-level fever (102 °F). The fever lingered for three days, and I’ve been recovering the rest of the week. I still have a small cough.

School is going well, but this week was pretty demanding, especially considering I was sick. I had three lengthy homework assignments due today (one for each of my classes). I had to do most of the work while I had a fever; I must not have been too sick, since I was able to still think logically enough to get the right answers.

Whenever there are lots of assignments due, I get a lot of questions from classmates. Everyone likes to compare answers with me. Somehow, if their answers are the same as mine, then they must be right. I’m the standard answer!

I’m exhausted. I’d love to spend the weekend relaxing, but next week might be even more tiring than this one. I have two homework assignments due Wednesday, a midterm Thursday, a midterm Friday, and I’m taking the GRE next Saturday. Scary! Such is the life of a student, I suppose.

I’m definitely sleeping early tonight.

Like In Entourage

Over the weekend, I went to a club in Hollywood with my sister to celebrate her birthday. She invited a large group of her friends and invited me to come too. I’m not a big clubber (and I’m usually against parties where I don’t know anyone), but I said yes because I’m trying to hang out with my sister more.

The club we went to was very fancy. It was like I was in an episode of Entourage, except that I didn’t see any celebrities. I had told my sister that I don’t really dance, so she made me her photographer for the evening. It worked out: I didn’t know anyone anyway, so being a photographer was less awkward than just standing around being a quiet observer.

I ended up drinking more than I was planning to (partly to save my sister from drinking all the drinks that people kept buying for her), but I think that helped loosen me up as the night wore on. I had a good time. We stayed at the club until closing (2am), and I went home with my sister; I zonked out on her couch around 4am.

As fun as the club was, I was exhausted from it. I didn’t have a hangover (I’ve never had one actually), but I felt tired all day Sunday and even Monday. I don’t know how party people do it; I can barely handle one night, let alone every weekend.

By the way, Happy Square Root Day! I had to throw that in to show off my nerdy math side. Square Root Day only happens nine times every century!

In A Rut

I’m in a rut. I keep thinking about how my current job is temporary and how I can’t possibly see myself doing it long term, yet I don’t do anything to get out of my situation. I drag myself to work every morning (some days, like Mondays, are worse than others) and somehow make it through the day, trying not to make a wrong move and have my friend/boss get mad at me. Then I go home, sit in front of my computer, and try to relax, usually watching episodes from a funny TV show on my computer (currently it’s Arrested Development).

I know I should be more proactive, but I’m always so drained at the end of the day. All I want to do after work is veg out. I really don’t know how people with actual lives (and relationships and kids) handle it all. Where does all their energy come from?

I was talking to my mom last night about this. She told me how my dad had put himself through graduate school, working full time during the day and going to school full time at night. He would sometimes (often) get his night’s rest by sleeping in a chair for a couple hours. My dad’s energy and discipline to work and study stemmed from the necessity for him to work and study. He had no support from his parents or his many (many) siblings, so he had to support himself and make it through.

I’ve been really lucky to be able to move back home after graduate school and have any financial support that my parents can offer. I try to pay for certain things with my own income, but my parents would prefer that I save as much as I can while I’m not paying rent. But maybe my luck is part of the reason as to why it’s so difficult to discipline myself to do anything productive.

I think I’m still waiting for an opportunity to fall in my lap so I can just take it, even though I know it doesn’t work that way. I have to break out of my routine of wasting time after work. Something needs to change. If I don’t, nothing will.

I Should Be Studying

How did it become late August already?

I should be studying. I should be spending all my free time cramming for the second actuarial exam. Or, if I want to take a break from that, I should be learning how to fully utilize all the capabilities of Microsoft Excel and Access. And if I really don’t feel like studying at all, I should at least go to the gym and shape up again.

Of course, I’m not actually studying, nor am I exercising. By the time I get off work, I don’t want to do anything that takes too much energy. I usually just want to zone out and watch TV. Today was no exception. I got off work close to 8pm and basically crashed when I got home.

How do people who work have time (or energy) to have lives?

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Tired By 8:30pm

Once again, this blog is becoming difficult to maintain, at least at a rate of one post a day. It’s not because I don’t have things to say, but I’m just so tired after work now. I’m not used to the schedule yet, and I have no energy left at the end of the day to update properly. I get tired around 8:30pm. Where did my youthful energy go?

My brother comes back tomorrow from his first year at medical school. His distraction will also make it more difficult to update. We’ll see what happens.

Reduced To A Crawl

I was at my friend/boss’s house last night until 3:30am watching Charlie Wilson’s War and Into The Wild. It made work at Target today much more difficult.

I started off my day strong, pumped up to do the job that I love. After a couple hours, though, I crashed. I never got a second wind, and my usually flying around the store was reduced to a crawl. I kept wondering whether my job at Target is really worth the trouble anymore.

We’ll see how I feel tomorrow morning. If my lack of energy continues throughout the week, keeping both jobs may not be a viable option for much longer.

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