No One’s Perfect

I finally had it out with my boss yesterday. We didn’t yell at each other, but the problem I had created from my mistake a month ago was brought out in the open. The issue is finally resolved.

However, the damage has already been done. I feel like my boss no longer trusts me. I used to be her go-to guy for little jobs/favors she needed done, but now she doesn’t ask me for anything. I prepare certain documents for her and she used to just sign them, but now she says she has to “look into it” and verify the information.

I’m very much a perfectionist. I always triple check my work (even when it’s done right the first time). I beat myself up over mistakes of any size. I always learn from them so I don’t make the same mistake twice. I do 99.5% of my job with no issues (I’m rounding). I’ve actually fixed many old accounting problems (including ones my boss made).

I’ve collected on invoices that were up to four years old. One invoice from one year ago was almost deemed “uncollectable” because of the run-around we were getting for so long. Three different people before me tried to collect on it; I received the physical check only a month and a half after I moved to accounting.

I’m very good at what I do (I’m not trying to brag, I’m just ranting/venting). But no one’s perfect, right? Everyone makes mistakes; that’s not just what we tell kids to make them feel better. In the grand scheme of things, the mistake I made wasn’t that big of a deal, but my boss seems to have lost all faith in me. I lost a friend in the process.

I understand that I made a mistake. I understand the need for my boss to be a little more cautious with me and my work. But I’ve already learned my lesson (big time). I haven’t made any egregious mistakes since. Can’t we just move on? Can’t we go back to normal?

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One Of Those Days

Today was one of those days where I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I felt off the whole day. I left work early (well, 7:30pm is earlier than usual) to try and relax at home, but I still feel anxious.

It didn’t help that I made a mistake at work toward the end of last week that just caught up to me today. I felt like my boss was mad at me all day. I’m thinking it’s because she got in trouble from her boss for my mistake, but I don’t know for sure. The mistake isn’t irreparable, but I really should know better by now. I hate making mistakes like that. My boss barely said two words to me today, which is noticeably different from our usual many conversations over our shared cubicle wall.

In other news, I had an envelope waiting for me when I got home that was from the US Department of the Treasury. Apparently I qualified for the recovery rebate credit (and I didn’t know about it when I filed my taxes a few weeks ago), so I got a nice bonus check! My day still feels crappy, but at least I’m a few hundred dollars richer.

Out Of Stock

This week has been quite a struggle. The beginning of the week was rough, and today wasn’t great either. Because I didn’t watch one of my client’s inventory closely enough (I was watching, but I thought things would be resolved today), they’re going to be out of stock on two of our most popular items over the weekend. This is going to be a huge blow to my sales.

As a last-ditch effort to fix the problem, my warehouse, production, and shipping teams all helped me get ready to deliver the items to my client’s warehouse 60 miles away. I left in the early afternoon. Without traffic, it should have taken an hour. Unfortunately, given a Friday afternoon in LA, the traffic was ridiculously bad. It took over two hours to get to the warehouse, at which time the warehouse manager refused to receive our packages (they close their receiving department early). I had no choice but to turn around and go back to the office. It took over an hour and a half to get back.

My delivery attempt ended up being a large waste of energy, time, and money. When I got back to the office, my boss didn’t get mad at me; after all, it wasn’t my fault that the traffic was so bad. I stayed in the office for another two hours before going home (it was around 8pm when I left).

It was only as I was driving home that my boss called and yelled at me for not watching the inventory closely enough. I should have communicated to him that there was an inventory problem earlier so that it wouldn’t have to come to a last minute effort. The fact that we tried to fix the problem is fine, but the fact that there was a problem to fix is my fault.

Anyway. It was a long day and a long week, neither of which ended well.

Rough First Day Back

After such a nice vacation, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that my first day back at work would be hard to get through. Even still, today was really rough. I feel like I kept making mistakes all day. My boss even yelled at me for one of them. My boss rarely ever yells at me anymore. Not only that, but I made my coworker friend/crush’s day really stressful because of my indecision and subsequent bad decision.

What’s worse, I might be coming down with something. I felt a bit hot and cold in the morning, almost like I had a slight fever. It got a little better after lunch, but then my back started hurting a lot. By the end of the day, my back was very uncomfortable. I had to lay down on my bed as soon as I got home.

I really hope tomorrow is better.

A Huge Mistake

I made a huge mistake last week at work. Basically, my boss gave me a small but time consuming task, and I never properly took care of it. I always kept delaying the task because 1. it was low priority (it’s only marginally related to my sales position), 2. it’s very time consuming (I didn’t want to spend business hours doing it when I have more pressing things to worry about), and 3. I was never given a deadline on when it had to be accomplished. I let it slip last week that I never actually finished the task (I didn’t think it was a big deal, and I was going to finish it soon), and my boss got really upset with me.

My boss wasn’t so much upset because I hadn’t done what he asked (though I’m sure that’s part of it) but moreso because I hadn’t communicated to him that I didn’t have time (or didn’t want to take the time) to do it. If I was too overwhelmed with work, he could reassign the task to someone else who could get the job done. Since he always assumed everything was fine, the task went unfinished for months.

Of course, I should’ve known better than to think it was acceptable to leave a task unfinished for three months. I’m not even sure what I was thinking. My boss certainly had a right to be upset with me. Usually, though, my boss forgives and forgets pretty quickly; by the end of the day, everything between us is back to normal. But not this time. Even though I did finally finish what he asked of me, I think he doesn’t trust me at all anymore.

It’s very difficult to gauge how he feels now. We haven’t had a chance to go to lunch together all week (maybe he doesn’t want to, or maybe he’s just been busy), and our communication has been minimal. Our after-work meetings are brief and contain no friendly banter. He was out of the office for two and a half days on a business trip, and I had almost no contact with him (usually he at least calls or emails me to ask if everything is okay). I really feel like he’s giving me the cold shoulder, only talking to me when it’s absolutely necessary for work.

It’s been kind of a rough week. With the economy having one of its worst weeks ever, my sales have been down. That coupled with my strained relationship with my boss makes for a very stressful work environment. I’m really not looking forward to tomorrow morning.

18 Times 6

Last night, I helped count some inventory in the warehouse at work. Somehow though, I thought that 18 times 6 equaled 72. I remember multipying 18 and 2 together and then doubling it as a way to make the calculation easier. I didn’t realize that it was also a way to make it wrong.

I was so convinced that I had done the math correctly that I thought our inventory count was short 36 units. It wasn’t until this morning when someone else counted the items again that I saw my completely embarrassing mistake.

Given that I have a masters degree in math, I should be a lot better at math than most people. And yet, I constantly make careless arithmetic mistakes. It’s terrible. How could I not realize that 18 times 6 is 108?

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I Don’t Know

I made another (big) mistake today. I received a phone call from a client asking a question about one of our products. I really can’t think on the spot, especially when I don’t know the answer, so I froze up.

I fumbled my words a little (a lot) and told the client that I would transfer him to someone who knew more, but my friend/boss was busy. I asked a coworker what I should do, but in the end I had to get my friend/boss to answer the call. Unfortunately, the client hung up by then. My friend/boss had to call him back and explain what happened.

I felt terrible. Apparently, the client doesn’t like me and almost definitely thinks I’m an idiot. My friend/boss says it’s inevitable. He said that all of our clients thought he was just a stupid little kid when he first started, but now he makes all the decisions.

Because I’m so incredibly self-conscious, my confidence level is really low. I don’t have the courage to just say “I don’t know” and tell the person that I or someone else will call him back. It sounds easy to say now, but I always get nervous when I’m actually in the siuation.

The funny thing is that I remember telling myself in the morning that I would try to be more confident in my abilities today. That clearly didn’t stick.