Biological Clocks Are Ticking

I heard a couple bits of great news today!

I found out through a Facebook status update that two of my friends from graduate school got married last week! Considering how sudden and nonchalant the status update was, I assume the wedding was small with only the closest family and friends present. The news really took me by surprise, even though it shouldn’t have. My friends have been together for quite a few years (they got together when I was still in graduate school), and they really are perfect for each other.

A couple hours later, a college friend instant messaged me on Facebook (yes, I’m on Facebook a lot these days), and she told me she just got engaged! I had found out she was pregnant only about a month ago, and now she’s getting married too! It’s just one surprise after another!

As I had mentioned in previous posts, my best friend from high school is getting married in January (and planning on children in 2012), my best friends from graduate school had twins a couple months ago, and my married friends from high school had their baby in May. So many of my friends lately are getting married, having babies, or both! I feel like we’re all still kids, but I have to keep reminding myself that my friends and I are in our late twenties (or early thirties for some of us). Our biological clocks must be starting to tick more loudly now. Well, mine isn’t ticking so loudly just yet, but everyone else’s seems to be.

Side note: My mom always seems surprised (almost offended?) when I tell her about my friends who are having/had children before they got married. I always forget that my mom is more traditional than I realize.

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Facestalking

As my life has become consumed by my overly demanding classes recently, I’m trying to maintain my sanity by returning emails quickly and catching up with (i.e., facestalking) friends on Facebook. I also had a chance to hang out with my best friend from high school and his fiancée for a couple hours on Sunday, which was far more refreshing than I thought it would be. I really don’t see my friends enough.

Speaking of facestalking, I recently found a few old friends on Facebook. It’s a little depressing to think about all the people I’ve lost touch with over the years. I think about how difficult it would be to reconnect with these people (especially, for example, my old church friends from high school). I think about how life and time have changed us. If we were to sit down and chat, would we become friends again? Would we have anything in common anymore? Does it even matter?

C’est la vie, I suppose.

Twitter

I very recently became addicted to Twitter. I created a personal Twitter to try it out, and now I use my tweets to update my status on Facebook. I love being able to tweet from my iPod touch. I feel somehow more connected to my social network when I use Twitter; it keeps me motivated to check Facebook more than I used to when I just used Facebook alone (don’t ask me why, I couldn’t tell you).

The problem, though, is that I have Facebook friends from all walks of life, some of whom I work with and some of whom don’t even know (for sure) I’m gay (like my cousins or some very Christian friends from high school). As a result, I find myself censoring my tweets. I don’t generally have a dirty mind, but there are some things that I don’t necessarily want everyone to know.

My best friend at work (who I may have referred to before as my “lunch friend”) and I went Starbucks after lunch today to get an afternoon caffeine fix (to get us through the day). Actually, we always (without exception) go to Starbucks after lunch. While we were waiting for our drinks, I saw a really cute guy ordering a drink. I kept eyeing him (I love eye candy), but I really wanted a way to document my thoughts (as mildly inappropriate as they are).

Because of my need to micro-blog in a slightly more anonymous way, I created a Twitter account specifically for this blog! This way, I have an outlet for what I’m thinking about throughout the day, and I can share those thoughts with the handful of people who read this (thank you)!

I added the Twitter widget to the right column of the blog. Also, if you have a Twitter account, you can follow me here. Enjoy!

Gossip

My mom got a call tonight from my aunt (the mom of my cousin who’s in college), I don’t know why. As usual, the conversation ended up with what juicy gossip my aunt heard from my cousin. And there’s nothing juicier than my cousin telling my aunt that I have a girlfriend, that she’s met her, and that I have pictures of her on my Facebook page.

My cousin did meet my friend in question briefly (she’s the one who goes to the same school as my cousin). While my friend is quite attractive, she’s still a girl and therefore not my girlfriend.

The pictures on my Facebook page are actually of a completely different girl with a completely unrelated story. I put up pictures of that girl as a favor to her so she could download them and show them to her mom. Strangely, I don’t have any pictures on Facebook of the girl my cousin met.

Fortunately, my mom stood up for me and denied all allegations that I have a girlfriend. She kept saying “she’s a girl, she’s his friend, but she’s not his girlfriend.” Haha, how many times I’ve heard that.

Sometimes my parents seem like they want me to date my friend (because she tends to give me hugs when she sees me and gets really close to me when we take pictures together, though I think she does that with all of our friends). But other times (like tonight) it seems like maybe they understand that I don’t want a girlfriend. Ever.

All I know is, hell is going to break loose if/when I do come out to my family. It seems like confiding in my cousin doesn’t seem like a good move.

I Wasn’t Alone

I recently became reacquainted with an old friend from elementary school through Facebook. Amazing site, that Facebook. We were really good friends back then, but we drifted apart during junior high. I used to compete with him for grades, but he always won. He ended up going to an Ivy League university and is now working on a Ph.D. at a different Ivy League university.

The interesting thing I just learned is that my old friend is gay. I was a little shocked when I found out. Throughout my childhood I had no (known) gay friends. Even through college and graduate school I had very few gay friends. I always felt alone and guilty knowing that what I felt was different from other boys, even before I knew what gay meant. If I knew that a friend, one of my best friends, was also gay, that would have made things much easier to handle.

Back when we were kids, he probably also felt isolated and was afraid to share his feelings just like I was, so I’m certainly not upset with him. It would have been comforting, though, to know that there was another person going through the same thing.