Classes on Friday felt a little (very) overwhelming, maybe because I haven’t been in school for a couple years (and haven’t taken undergraduate classes for longer). Moreover, the classes were overfull, so it seemed unlikely that I would even be able to enroll (concurrent enrollment students are lowest priority because we’re not official university students). It wasn’t until the next day (yesterday) that one of the professors confirmed that I would be able to enroll in two of the three classes I’m trying to take.
You would think that being able to enroll in my courses is a good thing, but I’m ambivalent. On one hand, yes, I didn’t want to leave/quit my job without knowing for sure that I would be able to enroll immediately. On the other hand, I had to decide whether I wanted to finally leave the dead-end but easy and comfortable job I had for a path that is terrifyingly uncertain.
Needless to say, I’ve been agonizing over this all weekend. I’ve been wanting to leave my job for months, yet when the time came, I was hesitant. Honestly, I haven’t completely made up my mind on pursuing the long and arduous statistics path. But the only way I will know if this path is right for me is to try. If I continued to wait until I’m 100% sure of what I want to do, I’d never do anything. So my only option at this point is to just go for it. No looking back, no regrets.
Today, I finally summoned up the courage to tell my boss. I met her in the office (yes, on a Sunday) and basically told her that I was going back to school full-time, effective immediately. My boss reacted so much better than I was expecting. She was very understanding. The news was sudden, but she said school is very important; the company wouldn’t want to get in the way of that. We made small talk about school (how hard it would be to get back into it, but I should be fine because I’m still young), education, and how things have changed over the years (tuition, class sizes, etc.). We were chatting the way we were before our falling out back in April.
I’m going to go to the office on Tuesday to show my boss and the other accounting person how to do my job (it’s really not difficult). I won’t be able to stay the whole day because of a discussion section at school in the afternoon, but Tuesday might be my last day at the office. I told my boss I would still be available for questions or help later on, but we both agreed that going to school and working at the same time is very difficult.
When I told my friends at work, they were all very happy for me. My old boss/friend said he always knew I wasn’t going to stay, he was just waiting for me to make a move (he’s always one step ahead of me). My ex-work crush (or is it my work ex-crush? I guess now he’s my ex-work ex-crush!) is the only one from work with whom I was discussing this decision before any other coworkers, and he was always supportive. He told me to go for it with no hard feelings about leaving. At the end of the day, I have to do what’s best for the most important person in my life (which is me!).
I called up my big sister from work, and she was also very excited about my news. The sad thing is, she’s going to go back to working for our company indefinitely, starting tomorrow! We just missed each other! I’ve already scheduled to have lunch with her on Tuesday when I go to work one last time. We’ll probably have frozen yogurt.
So here I am, getting ready for bed before my first full week back in school. Everything is suddenly different. Everything has changed. I’m terrified on so many levels. But this is it. I’ve taken my life to this point, and there’s no going back now.