First Online Guy

I was barely at work for an hour yesterday and my boss had managed to stress me out. It’s gotten to the point where she only has to instant message me with a simple sentence and I will feel terrible for the whole day. That coupled with freaking out about my date made for a very painful day. I almost thought of cancelling my date for fear that I wouldn’t be in the mood to meet someone for the first time. Luckily, I didn’t feel nearly as stressed after I got off work.

I met my date (the first online guy in the previous post) at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. I initially asked him to coffee/tea (easier to escape if the date went badly), but it was only about 6:45pm when we met, so we ended up eating dinner together. We had Fatburger. I had never been to Fatburger before; it was really good, even though it’s clearly not a date place. We ate outside and watched the passersby (Have you ever noticed how strange the pluralization of passerby is? Weird!). Oh, and if you’re wondering, he paid for dinner!

After walking along Third Street for a while (stopping to check out the various street performers), we headed down to Santa Monica Pier. It was around sunset, so the view of the ocean was just beautiful. We ended up sitting on a bench at the end of the pier overlooking both the ocean and the city. At the end of the night (around 10pm), he walked me to my car (all the parking lots down there look the same, so I easily could have gotten lost if I was by myself) and gave me a hug before we parted ways.

The date went very well. Santa Monica is a great place for a first date (or any date for that matter). Even still, I don’t know if I like the guy in the dating sense. I think we could be friends, but I don’t currently feel like we could be more.

He, however, seems to like me a lot. As I was driving home last night, he texted me asking for me to text him when I got home safely (I live farther from Santa Monica than he does). Then today, around lunchtime, he texted me asking how my day was going and what I had eaten for lunch (creepy). After a few replies back and forth, he asked me if I was doing something on Saturday. I told him I was busy (I really might be!), and he sent this: “I had a good time yesterday and would like to see you again. When is a good day/time?”

If I felt the same way he does, then maybe I wouldn’t mind setting up a second date so soon after the first date, but this was a little (way way way) too fast for me. I was freaking out. I didn’t want to set up definite plans so quickly, but I didn’t want to be mean and shoot him down either. I don’t want to be a heartbreaker!

I’m not sure which is worse: being heartbroken or being the heartbreaker. I’ve felt sort of like a heartbreaker before (a totally different story for perhaps another time), and I possibly felt worse than being rejected by someone I liked. I don’t know if I can handle this whole dating thing.

I called both my sister (I love that I can call her about this!) and my work bestie and asked them what to do. They both agreed that I was probably reading too much into it. A second date isn’t a commitment, only another chance to get to know someone better.

The guy sensed my hesitation from the fact that I didn’t text back right away, so he texted me again with: “If you don’t want to it’s cool. Just tell me.” I felt bad, and I didn’t necessarily want to burn the bridge right away. I told him it would be nice to hang out again but that next week is better and I would let him know then. He replied: “Sure. No worries. I am a very no pressure sort of guy. Just want to make sure you are comfortable. That is all.”

Obviously, he’s a really nice guy. Who knows, maybe I’m only hesitating because I’ve never been on a second date before. Everything seems to be moving very quickly, but I really don’t want to rush into anything (I fear change). I still have a date with the second online guy tomorrow night!

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4 Responses to “First Online Guy”

  1. Jonathan Says:

    This sounds very romantic, actually. For us eastcoasters to hear about a date on 3rd St. Promenade and then chilling on the pier… wow…. Very nice.

    I think it’s right to take it slowly especially if you haven’t dated in a while. And yet it’s important to make the other guy feel like everything is “ok” and you’re not snubbing him. So you got good advice.

    Congrats on all the dates. Keep it up!

  2. Amy Says:

    If you want, go out on a 2nd date. If you just don’t feel a connection, let him know that you think you guys might be better as friends. Telling him early doesn’t count as heart breaking – it counts as being honest. (On a side note, telling him you’re not into him, and yet making out with him sends mixed messages.). Be honest and clear, and congrats!

  3. Jonathan Says:

    Geez, another Jonathan! East Coast even! I should probably link to something… there’s myspace, that should be good.

    Anyway it does sound like an absolutely lovely date. The ocean at sunset…mmm. I (also) would advise you to just be honest about your thoughts and feelings for this person (while still giving him a chance). A second date is no big deal. Are you surprised he likes you? You shouldn’t be… who wouldn’t? 😉

    Good luck. Have fun and enjoy yourself!

  4. Jeff Says:

    asked what you had eaten for lunch? sounds like a chinese thing to do 😛
    what’s the worst that could happen if you went out on a second date with the guy?


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