I fixed my computer! Apparently there was some manual setting that turned off my wireless capabilities. After a little finagling, I found that I had to use something called the “Vaio Smart Network” (only on Sony computers) to turn my wireless settings back on. It isn’t very smart, if you ask me.
I’m just glad I don’t have to send my laptop back. I was already imagining the hassle it would have been. I like having my own computer.