Always Missing Out

My high school friend had a barbecue party for his fiancee’s birthday today. While I was talking to my friends at the party, I realized that I missed out on a lot when I moved away from home for college and graduate school. My friends often talk about funny things that have happened and everyone else knows the context immediately because they were all there when the things first happened. I always have to ask what they’re talking about.

I was the only one in my high school group of friends to leave for college. Everyone else stayed together. Now, seven years later, I finally moved home, and I feel like an outsider. The friends with whom I was once close moved on without me. I can still have fun with them, but the way my friends interact with me feels different somehow from the way they interact with each other.

I guess I can’t complain too much. I made new friends in college and graduate school. But now that I moved away from those places as well, those friends will also move on without me. I can try to keep in touch as much as possible, but nothing is ever the same as it was.

Change is hard.

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