Like In Entourage

Over the weekend, I went to a club in Hollywood with my sister to celebrate her birthday. She invited a large group of her friends and invited me to come too. I’m not a big clubber (and I’m usually against parties where I don’t know anyone), but I said yes because I’m trying to hang out with my sister more.

The club we went to was very fancy. It was like I was in an episode of Entourage, except that I didn’t see any celebrities. I had told my sister that I don’t really dance, so she made me her photographer for the evening. It worked out: I didn’t know anyone anyway, so being a photographer was less awkward than just standing around being a quiet observer.

I ended up drinking more than I was planning to (partly to save my sister from drinking all the drinks that people kept buying for her), but I think that helped loosen me up as the night wore on. I had a good time. We stayed at the club until closing (2am), and I went home with my sister; I zonked out on her couch around 4am.

As fun as the club was, I was exhausted from it. I didn’t have a hangover (I’ve never had one actually), but I felt tired all day Sunday and even Monday. I don’t know how party people do it; I can barely handle one night, let alone every weekend.

By the way, Happy Square Root Day! I had to throw that in to show off my nerdy math side. Square Root Day only happens nine times every century!

In A Rut

I’m in a rut. I keep thinking about how my current job is temporary and how I can’t possibly see myself doing it long term, yet I don’t do anything to get out of my situation. I drag myself to work every morning (some days, like Mondays, are worse than others) and somehow make it through the day, trying not to make a wrong move and have my friend/boss get mad at me. Then I go home, sit in front of my computer, and try to relax, usually watching episodes from a funny TV show on my computer (currently it’s Arrested Development).

I know I should be more proactive, but I’m always so drained at the end of the day. All I want to do after work is veg out. I really don’t know how people with actual lives (and relationships and kids) handle it all. Where does all their energy come from?

I was talking to my mom last night about this. She told me how my dad had put himself through graduate school, working full time during the day and going to school full time at night. He would sometimes (often) get his night’s rest by sleeping in a chair for a couple hours. My dad’s energy and discipline to work and study stemmed from the necessity for him to work and study. He had no support from his parents or his many (many) siblings, so he had to support himself and make it through.

I’ve been really lucky to be able to move back home after graduate school and have any financial support that my parents can offer. I try to pay for certain things with my own income, but my parents would prefer that I save as much as I can while I’m not paying rent. But maybe my luck is part of the reason as to why it’s so difficult to discipline myself to do anything productive.

I think I’m still waiting for an opportunity to fall in my lap so I can just take it, even though I know it doesn’t work that way. I have to break out of my routine of wasting time after work. Something needs to change. If I don’t, nothing will.

I Should Be Studying

How did it become late August already?

I should be studying. I should be spending all my free time cramming for the second actuarial exam. Or, if I want to take a break from that, I should be learning how to fully utilize all the capabilities of Microsoft Excel and Access. And if I really don’t feel like studying at all, I should at least go to the gym and shape up again.

Of course, I’m not actually studying, nor am I exercising. By the time I get off work, I don’t want to do anything that takes too much energy. I usually just want to zone out and watch TV. Today was no exception. I got off work close to 8pm and basically crashed when I got home.

How do people who work have time (or energy) to have lives?

Tired By 8:30pm

Once again, this blog is becoming difficult to maintain, at least at a rate of one post a day. It’s not because I don’t have things to say, but I’m just so tired after work now. I’m not used to the schedule yet, and I have no energy left at the end of the day to update properly. I get tired around 8:30pm. Where did my youthful energy go?

My brother comes back tomorrow from his first year at medical school. His distraction will also make it more difficult to update. We’ll see what happens.

Reduced To A Crawl

I was at my friend/boss’s house last night until 3:30am watching Charlie Wilson’s War and Into The Wild. It made work at Target today much more difficult.

I started off my day strong, pumped up to do the job that I love. After a couple hours, though, I crashed. I never got a second wind, and my usually flying around the store was reduced to a crawl. I kept wondering whether my job at Target is really worth the trouble anymore.

We’ll see how I feel tomorrow morning. If my lack of energy continues throughout the week, keeping both jobs may not be a viable option for much longer.

Physically And Mentally

This is going to be a very long week for me. I worked at my new job for the last three days, and today was the first of four days that I’m working at Target. While work today felt like usual, I can tell that I’m going to be exhausted by the end of the week.

My new job requires that I use my brain (more than I have been for the last few months), so it’s mentally tiring. On the other hand, working at Target is physically tiring, having to walk and stand (among other things) for eight hours at a time.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this week. I’m going to be physically and mentally drained by the time I start the next week!

My Own Cubicle

I got my own cubicle today, complete with a desk and a computer. I don’t think I’m going to personalize my space at all, though, since all I use is the computer. The desk drawers are still full of random papers from the last person who had the desk before me.

Actually, my whole cubicle was initially full of dusty boxes, papers, and hard drives. I had to drag everything out so that the rest of the employees can sift through to see if anything is important. I wonder how long all the stuff will stay there.

I got a bit more training, but my friend/boss mostly had me practice doing some of the things he showed me yesterday (now that I had my own computer and desk). I was really slow at some of the tasks, mostly because I was triple checking (at least) so that I didn’t make any mistakes. My friend/boss had to do some things for me because I was taking too long. Part of the lag wasn’t actually my fault, but I still felt bad that I wasn’t as fast as he wanted me to be (yet). He said it was okay, though.

I also had to make a spreadsheet in Excel today. I tried to organize the information clearly in a way that made sense to me, but I’m not sure how it turned out. When I left today, I gave it to my friend/boss, and he said he’d look at it and make changes. I’m not sure if that means I did good or bad.

Besides training me, my friend/boss is also training someone else. A new intern came today, and he happens to be my friend/boss’s boyfriend. I don’t think it’s a big deal, since my friend/boss is very professional at work. If you didn’t already know they were together, you wouldn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

I felt pretty tired toward the middle of the afternoon. I almost started closing my eyes at some point while trying to make my spreadsheet. Trying to double check through details was very difficult. I felt a little tired yesterday around that time, too, so I’m not sure how to avoid being tired. Hopefully I’ll find a solution soon before my friend/boss loads me up with even more work.

As I was driving home after work, I felt compelled to visit Target, so I did. My friends were really happy to see me, and everyone commented on how nice I looked in my dress shirt and slacks. Even though I’ve only been with my new company for two days, I felt like working at Target was a long time ago.

Anyway. I’m exhausted now. I don’t know how most grown ups can work regular jobs and still have energy to do other things. I don’t get how my parents can still function when they get home. It’s taking a lot of energy just to write this post. I might have to just crash for the night right after this.

Unofficial Team Trainer

Today was the first day (I can remember) that I didn’t want to be at work. My brother needed the car, so I had to get up early so he could drop me off at Target three hours before my shift. I was already exhausted by the time I started working. No matter what I did (even drinking a Red Bull), I couldn’t get my energy up. I just wanted to go home and sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be even worse. My brother is staying over at my sister’s house tonight, so I have to take the bus tomorrow. That means leaving a couple hours early and walking a mile and a half to the bus stop. Considering that I’m already going to be on my feet all day, that’s not a good start to a day.

In other news, there are a few new trainees at work. Everyone is too busy to train them completely, so I try to answer any questions they have and periodically ask how they’re doing (even though I’m not a team trainer yet). Because of that, I think they think I’m a team leader (or at least someone above the other team members). They tell me when they’re done with a task, what they plan on doing next, and when they go on breaks, all of which are things that they should be telling the LOD. It’s pretty amusing.

Opening And Closing

It’s been a long day. I got up at 5:30am (15 minutes before my alarm) to go with my friend to buy a Wii. My friend’s original Wii was stolen when little thieves broke into his apartment about a month ago. I got a tip from the inside that my Target was going to have Wiis today, so we made a plan to go before the store opened to guarantee that we would get one.

Waiting for a Wii is painless and more fun when you go with a friend. The time flew by. When the Wii first came out, I tried finding one by myself. It was pouring rain, and I walked to five different stores (I didn’t have a car in graduate school). I ended up soaked and empty handed.

I was really tired by the early afternoon (I’m really not used to waking up at 5:30am). Today was my day off, so I figured I could just relax all day. That is, it was my day off until Target called me to work the closing shift tonight. It was funny to see the store at opening and closing on the same day, though it felt like two separate days.

At first I thought I was going to fall asleep while working, or at least be inefficient. But when I actually started working, I didn’t feel tired at all. I didn’t even yawn until after I got off work and came home. I certainly don’t remember studying math to have that effect on me!

Hanging Out Shouldn’t Be Exhausting

I’ve been planning all week with some of my college friends to meet up in my ncck of the woods (rather than me having to drive to see them). Since today was my day off from work, we decided everyone would gather at my place around 4:15pm and play it by ear after that.

 Yesterday, while I was hanging out with my friend’s girlfriend, a friend from high school called me. He’s been having a bad week and wanted to hang out with me on my day off. I told him I had plans with my college friends, and he asked what time. I said 4pm, so he figured that he could hang out with me from the morning until then.

I didn’t want to seem like a bad friend, so I said he could stay and hang out with all of us if he wanted to. My high school friends and college friends don’t mingle too often, but the groups have met before. I generally like to keep my circles of friends separate though.

My high school friend showed up at my house around 11am. He’s the same friend with whom I played Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom for twelve hours straight. So what did we do when he showed up today? We played the same game again, from 11am until my college friends showed up close to 5pm (there was traffic). Actually, we continued to play for another hour afterwards, but we chatted with my other friends at the same time.

Around 6pm or so, we finally turned off the game, and we all went to a nearby restaurant for dinner. The food was really good. We split a family meal consisting of a huge Greek salad, tri tip, pizza, and a lot of breadsticks. After dinner, we walked to Cold Stone Creamery for dessert. I’m not sure why we had ice cream on a cold, windy night in winter, but it was still good.

When we got back to my place, we watched About A Boy, one of my favorite movies of all time. My college friends left soon after the movie ended, but my high school friend stayed so we could continue playing Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom. Again. We played for a few more hours until I finally had to call it quits. I was exhausted, and my eyes were hurting.

I understand that my high school friend had a bad week. I understand that he wants to spend time with me on my day off. But when we hang out, we keep playing the same game for hours on end. We always continue playing until I’m completely wiped out. My day off becomes much more tiring than my work days. If I had hung out with only my college friends, it would have been a simple, relaxing evening.

I’m not saying that I didn’t have fun or that I didn’t like spending time with my high school friend. But we really need to work on moderation.