Studious

School is consuming all of my time and energy. On weekdays, I carpool with my parents, so I get dropped off on campus at around 9am. After my classes are done for the day, I spend a few hours in the library until my parents pick me up around 6pm. When I get home, I continue to study and do homework until around 12 or 1am. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

My weekends are also filled with studying (though I do take a little time off every now and then). Even though my homework assignments are due on Fridays, I like to get a jump start on the next week’s assignments over the weekend so I don’t fall behind.

I was a pretty good student when I went to college the first time, but I don’t think I was this studious before. My outlook on life is different now, and my motivation has changed. I’ve been out in the “real world,” so I understand what’s at stake. I’m not in school just to get good grades or get a degree (I’m not getting one right now anyway); I’m in school to learn the material so I can use it in the future.

It helps that my statistics classes are specifically designed to be applied in the practical world. My professors often express how important and universal statistics is, and we often analyze real data that my professors have used in their work. I don’t know how much the other students appreciate this, but the connections to real life fascinate me, and I stay motivated to learn more.

I think this all means I grew up a lot over the last couple years and I didn’t even realize it. Being lost wasn’t a total loss.

I Should Be Studying

How did it become late August already?

I should be studying. I should be spending all my free time cramming for the second actuarial exam. Or, if I want to take a break from that, I should be learning how to fully utilize all the capabilities of Microsoft Excel and Access. And if I really don’t feel like studying at all, I should at least go to the gym and shape up again.

Of course, I’m not actually studying, nor am I exercising. By the time I get off work, I don’t want to do anything that takes too much energy. I usually just want to zone out and watch TV. Today was no exception. I got off work close to 8pm and basically crashed when I got home.

How do people who work have time (or energy) to have lives?

Not Quite Five Days

I got up really late today, partly because I was sore from going to the gym yesterday. When my muscles are sore, I don’t feel like moving to get out of bed. It was the good kind of sore, though, the kind you only get from exercising. It lets you know you did something productive for your body. No pain no gain, right?

Even with a late start, I decided to go to Starbucks (a different one from yesterday, just for a change of scenery) to study. At least I could get in a couple hours of studying out of the last day of my five day weekend. Or at least, so I thought.

Less than an hour after I started studying at Starbucks, my favorite team leader called me and asked if I could work a closing shift tonight. I didn’t have any plans with anyone else tonight, so I said yes. I read for another ten minutes (maybe less) before going home to change into my red and khaki outfit (I really should just wear it under my civilian clothes, like Superman).

So I guess my five day weekend was really only a four day weekend. But that’s pretty good already, anyway. Once I get a “real” job (and a “real” life), I won’t be seeing many more of those.

My Current Plan

My friend didn’t show up for our tutoring session, so I didn’t do any tutoring today. I remember making a plan last week to do it, but I guess she forgot or something. Oh well. At least thinking that I had to tutor today got me out of the house earlier.

Instead of tutoring, I ended up spending a few hours at Borders (our original meeting place) reading one of the textbooks for the actuarial exams. Since the next actuarial exam is many months away, I won’t study my hardest right now; I know how I study. If I study a lot now, I’ll get discouraged and lose momentum too early. My current plan is to read through and preview the material for a couple months first. That way, when it’s time to properly study, I’ll have a foundation already built from which to work more efficiently.

I’m also thinking about learning a computer programming language. Computer skills are becoming increasingly important in most professions, including the actuary field (from what my friend in actuary says). I learned how to use LaTeX back in college, but no one cares about that except mathematicians. I’m hoping to pick up a book on SQL and master it during the next few months before my studying intensifies.

After Borders, I went to Target to let the executives know that I’m accepting the price change position. A couple weeks from now, they’ll start scheduling me 6am shifts!

A New Place To Study

I studied today! I went to Target early and sat in the break room to study. There aren’t too many people who work the day shift nowadays, so the break room was pretty quiet.

Studying at Target isn’t that different from studying at Starbucks, but I don’t have to worry about being late to work (not like I’ve ever been late anyway). I might try this routine every day, although it might be weird on days when I’m not working.

I felt productive while I was studying, but I’m far behind schedule. I’m just beginning. There is a lot more material I need to cover. I seriously have no idea how I was so motivated to study for the first exam.

Speaking of the first exam, I found out today that I did very well on it, much better than I expected. Employers don’t care how well I did on the exam (they just care that I passed), but it means that my method of studying worked. Hopefully I’ll  do well on the next exam too.

Studying Time

My studying isn’t going well. Because I work the evening shift at Target, I end up sleeping pretty late (like 3am) and then get up late the next morning. I loaf around, take my time drinking my morning coffee, and don’t really get ready for the day until the middle of the afternoon. As a result, I don’t study much before going to work (if I even get the motivation to study at all).

I didn’t get a chance to study today. By the time I was ready to go study for a couple hours before work, a friend unexpectedly dropped by to play video games. While it was fun to hang out (I don’t see many people these days), I’m wasting a lot of valuable time.

The next actuarial exam is in May, so I technically have a few months to study, but I keep getting surprised by how fast time is flying these days. How is it the middle of January already? While I’ve heard the next exam is easier than the first, I can’t underestimate it.

Today was my sixth consecutive day of work, and I have the next three days off. I already know my friends want to hang out this weekend (I rarely get the weekend off), but I’m feeling pretty guilty about not studying enough. My problem with time management is really frustrating me. I really want to make good on my New Year’s resolution.

No Margin

Today was a typical day of studying. I didn’t study much (okay, at all) during my trip, but I still did about the same on the practice exam problems as I did before I left. I still remembered all of the formulas I need too, which was a pleasant surprise.

The problem is that I’m not getting better. I’ve been getting roughly the same average on the practice problems for at least a month now. My average should be passable, but the actual exam is going to different, no matter how similar it is to the practice exams. I really need to have a higher average while I’m practicing so that I will still pass even if I don’t do as well on the real thing. Right now, I have no margin for error.

I need this final week to be extra productive. I hope something clicks in the next five days.

In Transition

I’m becoming increasingly frustrated by the fact that my life is on hold because of the actuarial exam. I spend my days at Starbucks studying, and then I go to the gym. That basically describes my week.

There are so many other things I would like to be doing. I would love to hang out with my friends more often. My friends are such a big part of my life, and yet I rarely see them now because I’m trying not to take time away from studying. I only have three posts on this blog in the “Friends” category so far. The importance of my friends is very underrepresented, and the reason is because I just haven’t seen much of them these last few months.

I would also love to practice driving more. Online dating guy thinks it’s pretty strange that I’m 25 years old and I don’t drive on the freeway (I think he might even be losing interest because of it…). Living in cities for college and graduate school where I didn’t need a car, I put off practicing driving. Now that I’m back home, I should be driving a lot more and getting used to LA traffic. But no, I drive to a Starbucks that’s ten minutes away from my house to study, and then I drive down the street from there to go to the gym. Because of my exam, I have no real reason or opportunity to drive further and push myself to practice.

Today I went with my parents to visit my grandfather (who lives with my uncle and his family). My grandfather had relatives visiting him from Shanghai. They are my grandfather’s cousin’s children (their father is my grandfather’s brother’s son). I don’t know what they’re called. Second cousins? I certainly don’t know what to call the relation they are to me. Anyway. I drove the 60 miles to his house, which includes driving on multiple freeways. It’s good practice, but my parents were in the car helping me. I have yet to drive on the freeway by myself. But the only opportunities I have to drive long distances on the freeway are with my parents, and even those are few and far between.

What else? I’d like to find a choir. I miss singing and I miss the social interaction with other singers. I’d like to go shopping and maybe have the occasional day of splurging. There are a lot of things on my wish list, including a fantastic cashmere hoodie I saw at Bloomingdale’s. It’s $250. Besides the tuxedo I bought for my choir in college, it’s probably the most expensive piece of clothing I’ve ever wanted. I can’t even consider buying such a thing until I get a job.

I’m getting so antsy. I want a job! I want to make money and start living on my own again. I like living with my parents for a little while, but I think living at home too long is stifling. I need my independence back. This transition period has gone on far too long already.

Halloween Stress

My studying isn’t going very well. I can’t seem to do a lot of the practice exam questions. Some are more complicated than I think, but others are easier than I think. I’m really worried that I won’t be ready for the exam, which makes me overthink the questions even more.

The gym was good though. I went back to my regular routine. Today was the first time I went back into the steam room since my wisdom teeth extraction (I can’t believe I’m still talking about that). I didn’t want to attempt the steam room on Monday since I was too tired, so it was nice to go back today. It was nice to sweat out some of the stress from studying.

In other news, my online dating guy and I had tentatively set our first meeting/date to be Friday, but he had to reschedule. We’re still going to meet, but I don’t know when yet. I’ve been trying not to get my hopes up over this date/meeting. All weekend I was thinking about the meeting/date and worrying about whether to tell my parents about it or not. But eventually, I calmed down and decided to keep things quiet until I know for sure if there’s more to this online dating guy than just a first date/meeting. There’s no reason to cause a ruckus over a first date, especially with someone I’ve never met.

My parents are pretty funny. They make a point not to do anything for Halloween. They make sure not to turn on the porch light and try not to have any lights visible from the front of the house so the trick or treaters won’t know anyone is home. I think my dad finds trick or treaters annoying. I don’t do anything for Halloween either, but I still find it amusing that my parents would go out of their way not to celebrate Halloween.

Returning To Normal

I went back to the gym for the first time since my wisdom teeth were pulled. It’s only been a little over a week, but I became tired more quickly than usual. I’ll have to ease myself back into exercising. One good thing, though, is that I lost weight! I’ve been eating much less this last week, so I ended up losing four pounds! The challenge now is revving up my exercise, and maybe also my food intake, while still maintaining the lower weight.

I still can’t eat quite normally yet, but I’m getting there. My teeth are still a bit sensitive, even though my wounds are healed and there’s no more blood. I’m still eating somewhat softer foods and taking smaller bites, but I’m off the ice cream and pudding diet. Food still gets trapped in the gaping holes, too, so I have to rinse out my mouth a few times after I eat anything. I’ll probably have to continue doing that for a few more weeks.

Besides going back to the gym, I also went back to Starbucks to study for my exam. It’s pretty hard getting back into studying at the same level, much like exercising. I still remember all the formulas I need, but the practice exam questions seemed more difficult than usual. Hopefully things will return to normal (or better than normal) soon.