I’m Not That Shallow

A small rant: Why is it that just because I think all the guys in Star Trek are cute/hot means that’s the only reason why I liked the movie and why I want to see it again? I hate that assumption.

I’ve actually had to defend myself on this point before. Back during the boy band craze in the ’90s, I really liked (and still do like) the songs from Backstreet Boys, ‘N Sync, etc. Westlife is still one of my favorite groups. Yes, I admit to liking boy bands. But no matter how hard I try to convince otherwise, people always assume that I only like boy bands because I think the guys are cute. As if it’s unfathomable to actually like the music that boy bands produce.

Yes, I’m gay. Yes, I think the guys in movies are cute, but watching eye candy only goes so far. If a movie has a terrible story or bad acting, I wouldn’t be willing to spend my hard earned cash on watching it multiple times, even if it has a really hot guy in it. I can be shallow when I want to be, but I’m not that shallow.

Anyway, this rant has been brewing in my head for a couple days ever since I had a conversation with a friend about wanting to see Star Trek again. Honestly, I don’t have the intense urge to see a movie in theatres multiple times very often. The last time I had such an urge was back in 2003 for my favorite movie, The Return of the King. I watched it six times in theatres. That’s 21 hours of epic awesomeness.

I don’t think I’m willing to spend the money to see Star Trek quite so times in theatres (though I’m definitely buying it on Blu-ray when it comes out), but the fact that I’m even comparing it to The Return of the King at all shows how much I liked it. I hate when people think I’m so superficial that I would only like a movie because of the actors. I don’t deny that I think Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Anton Yelchin, and John Cho are all very good looking. But the triumph and tragedy in the story are what keep playing back in my head, not the faces of cute/hot actors.

A Familiar Face

Last night, I went to Hometown Buffet with my parents. I’m not sure why we still go there; the quality has gone down considerably over the years. We did have a coupon though, so I guess that makes it worth it (or at least that’s how my parents think).

When I was scanning the food at the buffet to decide what to put on my second plate, I was surprised to see a familiar face: the cute boy from Borders! I think he noticed me first; I did a double take to recognize him. He’s taller than I remembered. He smiled (as he always does) and said hi. We exchanged general pleasantries and then went back to getting our food.

I later noticed that he was sitting only a few tables away from me. He was with an elderly couple, possibly his parents (maybe even grandparents). I glanced his way a few times, but I didn’t make eye contact with him. I tried to ignore his presence as best I could until my parents and I left the restaurant.

I find it funny that I continue to see him, even though I don’t even really know him. One of these days, I really should just muster up the courage to ask him to hang out with me, prefacing that I wouldn’t be trying to date him or anything. After all, what do I have to lose?

Dinner And Tournament

Over the weekend, I attended my friend’s birthday gathering at Medieval Times (dinner AND tournament!). I had never been to Medieval Times before, so I was pretty excited to go. I’ve always been a fan of Arthurian legend, so Medieval Times was always pretty appealing to me (the Excalibur Hotel in Las Vegas is one of my favorite hotels for that same reason).

I had a blast! I went inside only a little before the show/dinner was to start because of a huge parking ordeal (way too many cars for too few spots), but from what I saw, the atmosphere was great! It actually reminded me a lot of the Excalibur Hotel (in a good way).

Everyone got a paper crown with the color(s) of the knight you were to cheer for in the tournament (which corresponds to the section of the stadium you sit in while you watch). My group sat in the red and yellow knight’s section.

I sat next to the wife of one of my friends, which was perfect because we ogled the knights together. We felt that the tournament would be more fun if we rooted for the cutest knight. It turned out that the red and yellow knight wasn’t as cute as the yellow knight. We’re traitors, but we had so much fun.

The food was pretty good too (I asked for extra garlic bread – amazing!), and the meal came with two cups of beer! I don’t like beer that much, but who am I to turn down free alcohol?

I didn’t browse the gift shop as much as I would have liked, but I did end up buying the group photo we took as we entered the “castle.” It was a great photo, and I figured I wasn’t going to buy any other souvenirs anyway. All in all, I had a great evening!

BriTANick

I recently found a link to BriTANick, two friends (Nick Kocher and Brian McElhaney) who write, edit, direct, and act in their own short comedic videos. Their videos are amazingly hilarious, and I find Nick incredibly good-looking.

This video is what introduced me to BriTANick. It’s a little inappropriate (I’d probably rate it TV14), but it’s one of the funniest of all of their videos (and Nick is especially cute). It’s called Pillow Talk. Enjoy!

I Never Learn

I’ve been feeling pretty crappy all day today. I think I might be starting to get sick, but that’s not why I feel bad. I tried to avoid admitting this situation to myself (which is why I haven’t said anything about this on this blog), but my feelings today made it pretty unequivocal.

For a few weeks now, I’ve vaguely liked this boy at work. He’s young (but legal), straight, extremely cute/hot, and a total ladies’ man. He was the first person at work to ask me if I was gay and subsequently was the first person at work to whom I came out. He’s pretty nice to me, in a strictly platonic (friendship between boys) sort of way.

Over the last couple months, we’ve become pretty good work friends. I’m fairly certain that our social circles would never meet outside of Target, but I like to think we’re friends. Unfortunately, the more time I spend with him, the more my feelings for him are developing into a crush.

At the same time (though it started earlier), I also developed a small attraction to one of my high school friends (he’s also straight, of course). Technically, he’s a friend of a high school friend, but we all went to the same high school. We didn’t hang out together very much until I moved home last August. I like to think we’ve become friends in our own right, but I find it difficult to have conversations with him. He’s really into watching sports of all kinds, but I know very little about them.

I also find it hard to talk to my high school friend because he’s incredibly cute. He’s more cute than hot, which is why I’m not calling him cute/hot, but he has really nice muscles (and abs), so he’s pretty hot too. I get intimidated by his attractiveness. Whenever I talk to him, I feel like my attraction to him shows (he knows I’m gay too, by the way), so I get really shy and awkward around him. If we’re in a group, I tend to avoid eye contact with him but take in glances when I can.

My high school friend was in Las Vegas with me this last weekend. Because I know in my head that my attraction to him will never be reciprocated, I got mildly depressed during parts of the trip. There were a couple times when I had to walk off by myself to clear my thoughts. Sometimes I felt better, but other times I didn’t.

So that was the setup for what’s been going on in my head all day. Neither crush will ever be reciprocated, and that recurring (almost incessant) thought made me want a comforting hug. Unfortunately, I really wanted a comforting hug from one of my crushes, which clearly will never happen. Knowing that just made everything all the more painful.

My work crush noticed that I looked a little depressed today at work, but I never got a chance to sit down and tell him why. I’m not sure if I should tell him why, though I don’t think he would start avoiding me or something. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.

It’s amazing how much I don’t learn. Straight crush after straight crush, I never learn not to fall for straight boys.

Boys Make Me Awkward

I went to Borders today to study (I’m not allowed to study at Target on my day off). As I was leaving, I ran into the cute boy who works at Borders. I was walking downstairs as he was walking upstairs. This is how it went:

Cute Boy: (smiles) Hi.
Me: (smiles) Hi.
Cute Boy: (continuing to smile) How are you doing?
Me: Good, how are you?
Cute Boy: (behind me by now) Great, great. Really tired.
Me: Ohh… (trailing off)

After the encounter, I kicked myself (metaphorically) for not asking further questions or inviting him for coffee. This was the longest “conversation” I’ve had with him (besides our first meeting), so I should have tried to be more friendly and less awkward. Though in my defense, I was a little surprised that the dialogue went beyond the initial hi’s.

I’m so frustrated at myself for being incredibly awkward every single time I’m around cute gay boys. I have to find a way to work on that.

Pirates And Mermaids

Since I don’t have much to say today (days off from work are boring), I thought I would post a couple commercials I saw recently. The commercials are for Clorox, oddly enough, but the music is fantastic and the concept is cute. I really like them, especially the first one.

If anyone is interested, the music is (rumored to be) called “The Pirate And The Mermaid.” It was composed specifically for the commercials by H. Scott Salinas and Francois-Paul Aiche. I have yet to find a full version of the song at a high quality, if it even exists. For now, I just keep repeating the commercials on YouTube.

Cute/Hot

I saw a celebrity at work today! Well, he’s not that big of a celebrity, since most people probably have never heard of him, but I certainly have!

I was zoning my little area when I saw this incredibly cute/hot guy standing there, looking at something on a shelf. Since it’s part of my job, I asked him the obligatory “Can I help you find something?” He looked straight at me and said “no thanks.” When I saw his face directly, I recognized him immediately as Matt Lanter.

For those of you who don’t know, Matt Lanter played the son of Geena Davis’ character (she played the president) in the short-lived show Commander in Chief. More importantly, he was also on a reality show called Manhunt: The Search for America’s Most Gorgeous Male Model. While he didn’t win, I always thought he was the best looking model on the show.

I can’t decide whether he’s cute or hot, so I’ll just say he’s cute/hot. You can decide for yourself:

There are more pictures here.

I thought about saying something like “You’re Matt Lanter, aren’t you?” but I chickened out. Not only was I working, but I also didn’t have my camera with me. Moreover, I’m sure he didn’t want to be bothered while shopping at Target.

After our exchange, I went back to doing my job (silently muttering to myself in disbelief), and he went about his business. Even though it wasn’t a formal meeting or anything, I still met Matt Lanter! Yay for meeting cute/hot celebrities at work!

Making Friends Is Hard

Remember the cute boy who works at Borders? I saw him again. I was perusing some manga at Borders when I heard someone offer me a cookie. I looked up and there he was, holding out a plate of cookie samples. I said sure, took a sample, and said hi. He said hi back, smiled, and walked off (to offer cookies to other people in the store).

From the way he smiled, I’m pretty sure he recognized me. One of these days I’ll get the nerve to ask him to be my friend. But how do you ask someone to be your friend? It sounds so cheesy and mildly creepy. The Borders boy already knows that I think he’s cute too. Maybe I could ask him to have a coffee with me but make clear that it wouldn’t be a date? Even the scenario playing in my head sounds stupid and creepy.

I made most of my friends through school or through other friends. I have had very interesting conversations with people who sit next to me on planes, but those people were always girls. A couple of them even gave me their phone numbers (if I was straight, I would be a total player). I’ve always found it much easier to make friends with girls, probably because of the lack of sexual tension. I think it’s always a little gay for a boy to want to be friends with other boys, or at least it always comes off that way for me.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I haven’t had many gay friends. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to be gay. I get really awkward when I talk to gay boys, especially the cute ones. Dating gay boys and making gay friends is really difficult if I always act strange around them. Why can’t I just be myself?

A Quiet Ending

My last day of my graduation trip was nice. I had a delicious sushi lunch with my friends who I had stayed with all week. Before my friends drove me to the airport, we sat in a Starbucks and drank warm beverages while watching little kids lick the windows. So cute and so disgusting. It was great to have a quiet day with my friends to end my trip.

I’m back home now. Time to return to business as usual. Only six days left until my exam.