Remember the cute boy who works at Borders? I saw him again. I was perusing some manga at Borders when I heard someone offer me a cookie. I looked up and there he was, holding out a plate of cookie samples. I said sure, took a sample, and said hi. He said hi back, smiled, and walked off (to offer cookies to other people in the store).
From the way he smiled, I’m pretty sure he recognized me. One of these days I’ll get the nerve to ask him to be my friend. But how do you ask someone to be your friend? It sounds so cheesy and mildly creepy. The Borders boy already knows that I think he’s cute too. Maybe I could ask him to have a coffee with me but make clear that it wouldn’t be a date? Even the scenario playing in my head sounds stupid and creepy.
I made most of my friends through school or through other friends. I have had very interesting conversations with people who sit next to me on planes, but those people were always girls. A couple of them even gave me their phone numbers (if I was straight, I would be a total player). I’ve always found it much easier to make friends with girls, probably because of the lack of sexual tension. I think it’s always a little gay for a boy to want to be friends with other boys, or at least it always comes off that way for me.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I haven’t had many gay friends. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to be gay. I get really awkward when I talk to gay boys, especially the cute ones. Dating gay boys and making gay friends is really difficult if I always act strange around them. Why can’t I just be myself?
