My circle of friends from college is a tight knit bunch. Since living in the dorms together in freshman year, we kept our core group of friends until now (seven years later). Every time I came home to visit from graduate school, the few friends from that group who live in LA would make a point to hang out at least once.
One college friend in particular seems to be the center of our circle. She was out of the country in the Peace Corps for the last two years, rarely visiting home. Around the end of 2005, she came for a visit. Our entire group of friends gathered back to our college town and had a huge New Years reunion party.
That friend recently moved to LA. She has seen some of our friends from around the LA area who I still have not seen, even though I moved back from graduate school a month and a half before her. One reason is that I live in the San Fernando Valley ( “the valley” ) and she lives in LA proper, where more of our friends live. I suppose it’s only natural for them to hang out with her more than with me because of the proximity. But in 2005, the LA group drove six hours to see her. Driving the forty minutes to see me is not worth the drive, even though I had been away from the area and none of my college friends saw me for the last nine months. Even the one friend who does see me is only in the area because his girlfriend lives in the valley too.
You could ask, well why don’t you drive to see them? I’m not a confident driver, and my experience driving on LA freeways is next to nothing. Going to see them is a much bigger ordeal for me than it is for them to see me. And they know that.
It’s probably all in my head. I tend to overreact when I feel like my friends are hanging out without me. I’m sure there are issues of loneliness and neglect that make me react this way, because I know my friends do care about me. I shouldn’t complain. I should be grateful for the time I do get to spend with my friends. When I see them in person, none of this ever enters my mind. It’s only when I hear about what I missed does it really bother me.
Even knowing that, though, doesn’t help the fact that I still feel this way.
